Enigma

Thursday, March 04, 2004

"We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection." -Anais Nin

I'm feeling impulsive. Amina was trying to calm the instinct after school today because I was ready to blow the lid off of the whole thing. For once, I'm really tired of all of the intrigue and little game-playing. It's so annoying and... trivial (for lack of a better word.) Plus, I could have been feeling impulsive because Christopher was feeling impulsive this morning. Or was he the one feeling impulsive because of me? Hm. Point is, there was a whole lot of urge to do something rash going on. I don't know, perhaps I'm getting bored (?) with everything and I just want to shake things up. Watch them explode. Boom. Like that.

Eh, I mentioned Christopher, so now I should chat about him for a little while...

I finished typing four pages of Yesterday's Silence (v. 108? haha the amount of drafts for this is amazing) this morning due to the fact that we didn't have to be in school until 12:30. For those of you who don't know, Christopher is one of the main characters in the story. Yes, yes I speak about my characters like they're real people.. because they are. And they sound more real on paper if I think that they're real in my head. Something like that. Anyway, I was pretty comfortable with the progression of things, even though the whole first page only consists of two paragraphs. I love big paragraphs, but certain people start freaking out when they see them. "Eek! A paragraph more than six sentences! Break it up so that I can read it faster, and feel accomplished faster!" I couldn't break those beautiful things up; they were begging to go on forever. It was painful to cut them off.

So Christopher got his time in the spotlight this morning, and Scott and Elijah are terribly jealous. Although my female characters are incredibly boring in comparison to the male ones, let me touch on them briefly so that I'm not in trouble later...

Natanya, object of obsession for Scott in ADOH, is going to be a background character. I was toying with the idea of boosting her up and making her a main character, but her personality is annoying me. She is completely clueless as to the inner workings of the Elijah and Scott unit, and I think that adds a certain something to the story. It's almost like she is the epitome of a normal girl, and she'll offset their wacky, writer personalities off nicely. I'm definitely going to make her an important part of Scott's existence (he wouldn't have it any other way), but her separation is going to be pretty distinguished. No way around that.

As far as Shana, oy does she have an attitude! I wasn't planning on making her such a spunkster, but she just started speaking all on her own. I'm definitely going to make her headstrong and slightly narrow-minded mind set clash with Christopher's flexible, open-to-anything one. I'm going to have Shana and Mike (jerky roommate of Christopher's) at each other's throats all the time, but I see good things in their future. I want Mike to be a hero... he's an asshole, but he's going to serve an important purpose. Christopher and Shana are going to be so wrapped up in the drama of the bigger picture that it's going to take Mike to see through it all and come up with the perfect solution.

I know I'm being vague, but no complaining... I don't want to ruin the whole plot like I did for Amina today. (Sorryyyy couldn't help it - had to tell SOMEONE.)

Olivia, Bryce and Shannon are almost completely on hold, but I think that they'll be going places soon. My interest in their plot comes in really sporadic spurts, so maybe I'll be revisiting it soon.

Speaking of revisiting, there's someone right now who just won't go away.

Op, getting away from writing and back to me and my annoying not-so-dramatic lack of a personal life. That would signify that it's time for this entry to...

Love,
mir
mir @ 3/04/2004 |

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Omar says yes, Amina says no, my Mom says a resounding stay out of it, my brother says that it's all a smokescreen, my father has no clue what's going on (oy gevalt is THAT a good thing) and I'm just sitting around here waiting for the storm to hit. And what a perfect storm it will be, loves. Me and my big mouth and even bigger heart. I should have never involved myself. Not that I exactly had a choice. On the other hand, who am I kidding? Even if I had a choice, I would have ignored the weather forecast. Is it too late to board up the windows?

I know, I know. Spit on me and my metaphors.

*spits*

Amen to that, sister.

Love,
mir
mir @ 3/03/2004 |

Thursday, February 19, 2004

taZ ate bugZ1: ok now i remember why i never considered marc
taZ ate bugZ1: cuz he likes you
VersLibreVotary: HE DOES NOT! YOU'RE SUCH A DAMN LIAR OH MY GOSH MY BEST FRIENDS SUCH A DAMN LIARRR
taZ ate bugZ1: rofl
taZ ate bugZ1: somethings up with him
VersLibreVotary: maybe he likes YOU
taZ ate bugZ1: maybe hes using me to get to YOU!
VersLibreVotary: hey. that was a CHEAP SHOT.
taZ ate bugZ1: no it wasnt
taZ ate bugZ1: lol
taZ ate bugZ1: why would he like me? he doesnt even know me
VersLibreVotary: well he doesn't know ME either.
taZ ate bugZ1: lol but neither do other people, and they like you! lol
VersLibreVotary: umm
VersLibreVotary: nooo
VersLibreVotary: you LIE
VersLibreVotary: *covers ears*
VersLibreVotary: no more of this!
VersLibreVotary: rofl
taZ ate bugZ1: rofl
taZ ate bugZ1: omg damnit now im considering him
taZ ate bugZ1: bah
VersLibreVotary: HAHAHAHA
VersLibreVotary: I KNEW IT
VersLibreVotary: I WIN
VersLibreVotary: YOU LOSE
VersLibreVotary: MUAHAHAHA

And that's how it goes. : )
mir @ 2/19/2004 |

Thursday, January 15, 2004

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Low
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	Low
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Low
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test - Take It! --

Histrionic
People with histrionic personality disorder are constant attention seekers. They need to be the center of attention all the time, often interrupting others in order to dominate the conversation. They use grandiose language to discribe everyday events and seek constant praise. They may dress provacatively or exaggerate illnesses in order to gain attention. They also tend to exaggerate friendships and relationships, believing that everyone loves them. They are often manipulative.

Oh great. That's encouraging. -M.
mir @ 1/15/2004 |

Monday, January 12, 2004

Entertaining little episode, thought I'd come share.

We were arguing over politics at dinner (heh) and my brother got frustrated with my father.

"You know what, Dad? You give a whole new meaning to the term CHEESE-HEAD."

That's what he said. 12 years old. Gosh he makes me proud.

-M.
mir @ 1/12/2004 |

Tuesday, December 30, 2003

Why did I need to wake up early today? Honestly, was that necessary? I'm dangerous when I'm bored... not to mention the fact that I'm staring at a list of deadlines that are making me feel really overwhelmed. I have to bang out another page of ADOH today, and eventually I'm going to have to make up for the two pages I failed to finish on Sunday (3 pages were due, I did 1 and a half... but I don't count halves. It's either all or nothing around here.)

I just found my Coldplay CD (Rush of Blood To the Head) and stupid me, I went and started playing it. Argh. Bad move. I still love the songs and enjoy listening to them, but the feelings attached to them aren't ones I need to remember. Maybe there are times when I WANT to remember them, but I never NEED to. Ever.

Aww poor chap has been reduced to a locked box of memories I'd like to send away. Hey, it's all about the choices you make.

"A warning sign... I missed the good part and I realized... I started looking... and the bubble burst... I started looking for excuses... Come on in... I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in... I've gotta in my loudest tones... That I started looking for a warning sign... When the truth is - I miss you... Yeah the truth is - that I miss you so... A warning sign... You came back to haunt me and I realized... that you were an island... and I passed you by... you were an island to discover... Come on in.... I've gotta tell you what a state I'm in... I've gotta tell you in my loudest tones... that I started looking for a warning sign... When the truth is - I miss you... Yeah the truth is - that I miss you so... and I'm tired... I should not have let you go... No... So I crawl back into your open arms... Yes I crawl back into your open arms... And I crawl back into your open arms... Yes I crawl back into your arms..."

*closes open arms* Damnit. You caught me. Not fair.

Yo, that is SO frustrating. I thought I'd hate that song... yeah, it used to be my favorite because I used to think that the lyrics were so nice, but then I got annoyed with them... I mean he goes away and then HE'S the one in the bad state? And she's the one who has to be there to take him back (over and over)? Um... NO thanks.

And yet I still love that song. I thought I'd hate it when I listened to it, but no. I just started thinking of Torabora. Aww crap what does THAT mean now?

And of course I had to briefly consider the person I originally thought of when that song played over and over and over again....

[really huge subject change] - Aminem is going to the Met today with her senior buddies, and then she's flying off to Cali later on in the week. Oy. I mean I'm happy that she gets to get away, but that leaves me here and I don't like being left here. If I could go anywhere where would I go? I don't even know anymore. I used to have some definite ideas about who I'd want to see and when I'd want to visit them but at this point? There's not much going on in this head of mine that you kids would be pleased to see.

Maybe (but kinda unlikely) I can make a plan to get over to the city and visit Double R, who I haven't seen in an unacceptably long amount of time.

Or I can actually be a good girl and try to get some more writing in.

Or jeez, beyond that, maybe some HOMEWORK. *gag*

Talk soon, kids.

* mir
mir @ 12/30/2003 |

Friday, December 26, 2003

First major accomplishment of the winter break:

I finally finished reading Freedomland by Richard Price. It feels like I've been reading that thing forever. It's a lot of bad language and extremely rough topics to plod through, but as always, he's outdone himself. It's so depressing to read the work of a man with so much genius. Read the book - it's amazing.

* mir
mir @ 12/26/2003 |

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